It has been a while since I have created new art, or even made a new blog entry. For the past year I've been focusing on improving my art skills and gaining clarity about myself and the direction I want my art to go in. Back in January of this year, I decided to create a self-portrait. Think of it as an effort to show myself love. Sometimes the love and care that we really need in this world is what we can give to ourselves. For me, that love is given through drawing.
I decided to take my time creating this portrait. I wanted to allow myself a chance to feel whatever emotions I would experience while creating it. From excitement to sadness. From joy to uncertainty. It's important to give our emotions the space to show themselves. Be honest about how you feel in the moment. Then pray for clarity, understanding, and healing if need be.
During the process of creating portraits it's easy to appreciate the beauty of other people's facial features, but when it's your own…(pointing to myself) we can be our toughest critics. You might say "my forehead looks too big" or "my lips are too fat". "My nose looks like a balloon"…. lol. Whatever negative thing we (or even I) have to say about our face, capturing the truth of who we are is the most important thing we can do.
So, I put aside my own disparities about my face, and I decided to put on my artist eyes. Just to really see what's there. No matter how big, small, or ugly it looked to me, I drew exactly what I saw. I allowed my hands and the pencil to tell the true story of who I am.
Self-acceptance is a hard thing to do. The greatest thing that has helped me to accept myself is embracing God’s love for me. While drawing even the smallest details about my face that I did not like, through this process I’ve been reminded of God’s unique hands in shaping my appearance. Being reminded that God himself is an artist and I am His creation.
At the completion of this portrait, I am happy to say that I am in love with it. Not simply because it's me, but because it reveals what I think is the truth about me. I am beautiful. Inside and out. And not only am I beautiful, but I’m even courageous for posting this article about my art process. It's not easy being very open and honest with people. Although I believe it can help someone else embrace their beauty as well. Love and appreciation is one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves. So, give it willingly and give it freely.
Peace & Blessings,
Krystal R. Lindsey